Thread:Hakimiru/@comment-24366645-20140428023010/@comment-24366645-20140503224136

Oh no, it's not a bother at all. I'm in a bit of a slump as it is... I think I mentioned to someone else here (Serenity maybe?) that being a good writer in your target language is really the most important thing for translating. I'm not, which is why I usually prefer having an editor to do it on larger projects.

Oh, that sounds interesting. You should...do a Spanish dub for fun! X3 I would totally listen to it.

I know what you mean, if you don’t have a way with words in the targeted language the translation comes off sounding awkward. I have problems with that as well, that’s why I got frustrated and started translating them to Spanish instead. I found that I can make words flow nicer, so who knows I might do a dub for fun in the future (/ω＼)

Lamorak: "welcoming" isn't exactly wrong per se, and it works fine, but I probably would have chosen "scouting", personally. "Welcoming" has the conotation that she was approaching from her side, whereas 誘う carries the nuance that Arthur was the one who came to her and asked her to join.

Aah, so it was Arthur who asked her to join? Gotcha! The little details you can miss because one of one word...

"だからさ、その時までオレ達の絶対的ボスでいてくれよ" = So please, remain as our absolute boss until then. (there should be a better word than absolute, which is the direct translation, but nothing is coming to mind... he's basically an unshakable, pillar of existance to them.)

I think calling him an "absolute boss" carries tyrannical implications in English, because whenever you hear that phrase it's followed by talk about authoritarian governments and dictators. Would calling him their "indisputable leader/boss" work too? (´−｀)

Breunor:

"無事に親父の仇を討つことが出来たのは" = "Me being able to successfully avenge my father"

"きっと機関がオレを受け入れてくれたからなんだ" = "Was definitely thanks to the organization being kind enough to take me in."

Probably better reordered and as (tossing out some of the minor parts) "Thanks to the organization (or Knights of Round) taking me in, I was able to successfully avenge my father."

I was wondering for this one, is it okay to translate "親父" to old man? I know he's talking about his father, but there's something about the sound of him calling him his old man that I really like ^^;

Percival: "..とか" = "things like...". So first sentence is like "Decrees... true intentions...things like that mean nothing to me.". Alternative phrasing that strays a bit more from original flow: "Things like decrees and true intentions mean nothing to me". 世界の為 = for the sake of the world. 輝いてくれ = please shine (let me shine = 輝かせてくれ) 光あっての闇 = darkness that exists because of the light. And probably shouldn't ommit the だから at the end, since it changes tone somewhat.

Gareth: 役目 = role. So he's sayng Arthur should have just left that sort of role to him, since he's old and doesn't have many years left. 今更 is like when the chance has already passed. So he's saying even if he says that stuff now there's no point. Rest looks fine.

Mordred:

Not really wrong, but I probably would have gone with "So that's what it was, after all." for "やっぱり、そうゆうことだったのね. ".

"だけど、らしいっちゃ、らしいんじゃない？" = "But I guess that's like him." or "But I guess that's his style." or something else. "らしいっちゃ、らしいんじゃない" is literally something like "if you were to ask me if it's like him or not, I'd say it's like him.".

"もう、私には何の関係もないんだけどね. " not wrong, just wanted to add possible rephrasing: "Well, it's not like it has anything to do with me anymore, anyways." (probably too many any___'s orz).

"だけど、責任くらいはとってくれないかしら？" minor detail, but "くらい" is at least, so perhaps "But, could you at least take responsibility?" might be better.

"私だって、それなりに戦ってあげたのよ. " = "Even I, have done a fair bit of fighting for you after all." (それなり = "somewhat/a bit". ___なり = "in ____'s way". e.g. 彼は彼なりにがんばった. = He tried hard in his own way.)

"まぁ、期待しないでいてあげるわ. " = "Well, I won't expect too much from you."

Gawain:

Seems fine for the most part, a few minor things:

"少しでも、パパの力になれたかな？" = "Was I able to help Papa out, even a little?"

"頑張ったご褒美だよ、絶対だからね！" = "It's reward for trying my best, so you absolutely must, ok?"

Thank you for the corrections! I can see where I went wrong. I'll fix them and also work on rewording them, you wouldn't mind reading them over again when I'm done right? As a side note, Mordred’s second line made me laugh, it’s going to be fun writing hers up this time.

Bedivere:

"私はまだ、来るべき日の約束を果たせていないんです. " = "I still have yet to fulfill our promise of "the day to come".

"なのに、あなたがいないとはどうゆうことでしょう. " = "And yet despite that, what do you think you're doing being absent?"

"私は、あなたがいてくれるだけで、あなたの側にいられるだけでいいんです. " = "I'm satisfied with you just being here, and being able to be by your side."

"どうか約束を果たさせて下さい. " = "Please, let me fulfill my promise."

"ずっとあなたを、待っています. " = "I'll be forever, waiting for you."

Thank you so much for translating her’s, I had no clue how to word it. ヘ（´ｏ｀）

And I guess I'll wait for you to try the rest~

Are there any sentences where you have trouble understanding why I got what I did? Please feel free to ask, and I'll try to explain.

I haven't translated much of Uwain's (and only briefly looked at Lancelot's), but this is what I have so far.

Uwain: "あーそろそろ眠ってもいいかな？　え、ダメ？" = Ah... Is it alright to rest soon? Eh, no?

"仕方ねえなぁ. " = It can't be helped. Is this correct? I've read before that "仕方ねえなぁ. " is just a speech variation of 仕方が無い", but what I can't seem to figure out if there is a proper way to translate "ねえなぁ", as he appears to be elongating. Should I just put a tilde at the end? :P

And then I'm at loss on the rest... Except for maybe the last sentence, I think he's saying that Lions shouldn't go to sleep angry?